Welcome to the third blog in this series, looking at the 5 ways to wellbeing: 5 methodical steps that have been researched and developed by the New Economics Foundation to foster good mental wellbeing. Today’s wellbeing boost comes in the form of connections.
Connections give us joy, improve our self-esteem and empathy, but they also improve our long-term health just the same as things like good sleep, good diet, and not smoking. Many studies show that people with social support from family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. Adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems including depression, high blood pressure, and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). Studies have even found that older adults with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.
According to Age UK physical loneliness can be as harmful for our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. One study found that loneliness and lack of social interaction increase the risk of premature mortality by 30%. One study showed loneliness is associated with an increased risk of developing coronary heart disease and stroke. Another showed loneliness increases the risk of high blood pressure. Apart from the risks to physical health there is a lot of evidence to show how detrimental social isolation is to our mental health. One study shows how loneliness puts individuals at greater risk of cognitive decline and another that it makes us more prone to depression.
In research done for his book the Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor found that social connection is one of the greatest predictors of happiness which in turn also reduces feelings of stress. He claims that:
‘The people who survive stress the best are the ones who actually increase their social investments in the middle of stress, which is the opposite of what most of us do’
So, during these pandemic times, when our instinct maybe to shun contact, curl up in a ball and be alone, we may need to double our efforts, consciously making ourselves do the opposite.
Good friends can reduce our stress and increase our sense of belonging, purpose, happiness, self-confidence and self-worth. They help us cope with traumas such as divorce, serious illness, job loss, or the death of a loved one. They encourage us to kick unhealthy lifestyle habits like excessive drinking or lack of exercise. Reaching out to a friend is always the right thing to do.
Social connection doesn’t necessarily mean physically being present. It is someone’s subjective experience of feeling understood and connected to others. While lock-down measures are easing, we must still be a little more creative. Over the course of the last few weeks many of you will have already been trying fun and innovative ways to stay connected with loved ones. I would love to hear what you have come up with, so please comment below with your own tips for remaining connected.
This situation has lead to many people being more short of time than they used to be, while others have excess. With that in mind I have split my tips for maintaining connection into three parts, depending on how much time you have available.
A few minutes to spare?
- Record a video message for a friend or family member, or write them a good old fashioned letter. It is lovely to receive something hand written in the post.
- Put up some photos of friends and family around the home to help you feel connected. Changing screen savers is very quick, but serves as a regular reminder that you are not alone.
- Don’t send an email. Instead make a phone or video call. Albert Mehrabian’s communication model demonstrated that only 7% of what we communicate consists of the literal content of the message. The use of one’s voice, such as tone, intonation and volume, take up 38% and as much as 55% of communication consists of body language.
- Say yes to an invitation even when you do not feel like it. Remember its good to talk.
An hour to spare?
- Arrange a virtual coffee morning with friends. Get some tips on how to do this here.
- Try a live streamed class or a virtual book club, or host your own.
- Listen to a podcast or radio program. A familiar voice is soothing, as is being part of an audience or community. Choose a veterinary podcast such as Blunt Dissection or Borborygmi- noises from the veterinary world, or have a change of scene by picking one of hundreds of great podcasts such as radiolab or How to Fail.
- Find others with similar hobbies and interests using online meet-up sites. Creating new connections is just as important as maintaining current ones.
A while to spare?
- Watch a film at the same time as friends, or maybe have a Netflix party with commentary.
- Consider playing an online game with friends or create a virtual pub quiz.
- If you are isolating with children, encourage them to do some window or pavement art to cheer up passers-by. This also helps build community spirit for you as well as for those around you.
Most of us know that it is good for our health to stay connected, but many are unaware just HOW important it is. Being social is often seen as a ‘nice to have’. It is squeezed in if there is time and cancelled over other priorities. Connecting should actually be a priority, sitting alongside those things more traditionally linked to good health such as good sleep, good diet and exercise.
Although talking to friends, family and new connections should be encouraged, sometimes talking to a stranger can be extremely helpful. Many of us find it uncomfortable to share difficult or dark thoughts with those closest to us. If this is the case, talking to a stranger may help to start with. Vetlife, a confidential free helpline for vets is a fabulous resource alongside organisations such as Samaritans. It is okay not to be okay, but do tell somebody as it’s sure to help.
Contact Vetlife free on 0303 040 2551 or the Samaritans free on 116 123
Vet Balance 